Mind Body Messenger
Issue #15, July 2004

Keeping Up with Heather

I have lived in Toronto, Canada now for almost six months. Being new to big city life, I admit that it’s been a challenge for me to feel that I belong. I find it difficult to maintain my own peaceful state while I manage the everyday issues that one faces in a city; smog, parking, traffic, a faster pace, a more competitive attitude, and a feeling of isolation amongst the crowds. Life here in Toronto is quite unlike what I grew up with in rural Ontario, and what I experienced while living in Australia. I was reflecting on this subject over a few days, wondering, are these unprejudiced observations and reflections? Or, perhaps these ‘objective observations’ are really excuses that I have created to support my dissatisfaction with my surroundings, to keep the grass greener somewhere else.

As I gave consideration to these questions, I discussed my thoughts on Toronto with a few different clients. As I listened to their experiences with living in the city, and their desires to retire to the country, to the ocean, to places that offered a simpler life, I had to ask the question, is it where we are living that is important, or how we are living? If someone who is overworked, overtired and over-stimulated moves to the country, does this solve their problems? Do they become more peaceful, more relaxed, and more connected? Could they choose differently in the city and enjoy the life they dream of amongst the hustle and bustle? How much does where we are living contribute to our happiness…and can we change our minds without changing addresses?

With this subject percolating in my mind, I went to visit a friend and the subject (naturally) arose. She began talking about how she is teaching her daughter not to talk to strangers, how people today are crazy and you can’t trust them, how terrible it is that the world is getting to be such a dangerous place. I was puzzled. This isn’t the world that I see out there. Okay, I’ve perhaps been emphasizing to myself the challenges of city life, but I certainly don’t see it as a dangerous place, or a place where I can’t trust the people around me. She looked shocked at my lack of comprehension, “Don’t you watch the news?” Well, yes, I do. But, I recognize that the news isn’t necessarily the whole truth. There is a worldwide network of intelligent, ambitious journalists who work around the clock to seek out and report the most dangerous, violent, sensational, and tragic events happening in our world to sell to the viewers. And, in the absence of a new tragedy, they will review past tragedies and present them from fresh angles. So, the answer is, yes, I watch the news. But, no, I don’t let the news alone form my view of my world. She was disappointed with my obvious naiveté. ‘Yoga teachers!’ I’m sure she thought, ‘not living in the real world.’

I returned home later that day to reflect on what she had said. Was I naïve? Was my idea that I create my reality just another of my (many) idealistic notions. Or, were she and I really living in different worlds based on our different attitudes. And, the answer came to me upon request, as they so often do.

Later that night, my roommate told me about a story that she had seen on the news. And all it took was this one news item (I know I don’t believe the news) to remind me why I choose to view my world with an idea of unity, rather than separateness. For those readers who live in Ontario, you may have heard this piece. For readers around the world, this is a great story, and a true one, so listen in…

There was a man who was (reportedly) suffering severely from depression and came to feel so isolated, so angry, and so hopeless, that he loaded his car with guns and bullets, and drove to a Toronto park with the intent to ‘take out’ as many people as he could before ending his own life. He was carrying one of his weapons when he got out of his car and strolled into the park, looking around at all of his intended victims as they enjoyed the outdoors, played with their children, threw sticks for their dogs. But, before he could take any action, something happened that changed his future, changed the futures of all the people standing in the park that day. A dog, recently adopted from the Toronto Humane Society, was in the park with his owner. The dog scampered over to the man and licked his hands and played with him. In that way that dogs can so easily do, blind to status, popularity and physical attractiveness, he connected with this man on such a simple but powerful level, that in that very moment, the man changed his mind. He walked up to a police officer and told him that he was mentally disturbed, told him what he had planned to do, and asked the officer to take him to a hospital.

To think, that no human being, supposedly the most conscious of all beings in this world, reached out to this man in distress. It took a dog, a ‘simple-brained’ animal, to reach out and connect and help this man to see some hope for himself, for his future, and realize the madness of his plan.

This dog impacted not only the people in the park that day, but every other person who hears this story. We have a chance, right now, in the world we live in today, whether it be a city, a rural community, or a sustainable farm in the outback, to change our attitudes about the people and the world around us and reach out and connect with the people in our world. To reach beyond the safety and security of our families and coworkers to touch those around us, this is perhaps the greatest impact we can have in our world. I feel we are making a grand mistake, choosing to see the people in our world as ‘other’. To see ourselves separately; us and them; friends and strangers; the enemy. Now, I am not suggesting that we stop locking our doors and start sending our 6 year old children to the shops alone. However, perhaps we can begin to practice real acts of kindness in our world. And, the first step is to begin to see our world with more kindness. For me, these thoughts, these conversations and these experiences have led me to realize that it’s not the place I’m in, it’s me. It’s not those people ‘out there’ that are creating my reality, it’s me, ‘in here’. Real contentment doesn’t require being in a certain place, or having certain people around you, you can always find peace and fulfillment when it comes from within. I realize from this experience that my attitude is essential to my happiness. And, it’s up to me to find happiness and fulfillment no matter where I am. With this skill developed, I can truly be myself and achieve contentment anywhere in the world. This skill will give me an unshakeable foundation from which I can then be of greater service to my world.

I am reminded of what his Holiness the Dalai Lama said on his recent visit to Toronto when questioned about how he feels about the world become a more dangerous place. He responded by telling us that our world is not getting worse, but getting better. More people than ever are speaking out against war, standing up for the environment, and choosing to look inward rather than outward in their attempts to improve themselves and their world. Let this dog, his natural approach to life, his inclusive attitude, and his simple act of kindness remind us of our own vast potential for not only doing good, but for simply being good. Choose your attitude, and watch your world change. And finally, let your impact be your message, and do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

A few quotes for you on this subject:

Be the change you want to see in your world.
Mahatma Ghandi

To those who are good to me, I am good.
To those who are not good to me, I am also good.
And thus, all together we come to be good.
Lao Tze

Everything that lives, lives not alone, not for itself.
William Blake

Lord Buddha was once asked why a man should love all persons equally. "Because" the great teacher replied, "in the very numerous and varied life-spans of each man, every other being has at one time or another been dear to him".
Autobiography of a Yogi, Paramahansa Yogananda

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
John Muir.

As always, I look forward to your feedback and thoughts.

Namaste,
Heather!

Home Practice
Analoma Viloma
Alternate Nostril Breathing... printer friendly version

This simple breathing exercise helps to balance the left and right sides of the body and the brain (yin/yang, sun/moon, hot/cold, intellect/intuition, Siva/Shakti). This is a calming exercise ideal for opening or closing your practice.

To begin: Find a comfortable sitting position, be sure that your body can relax and you won’t be holding tension in the hips, shoulders or spine. Bring your right hand to your face, placing the thumb on the right nostril, and folding down the first two fingers. Place the left hand palm up on the left knee.

Exhale completely, then place the thumb on the right nostril, take a deep breath in through the left nostril for 4 counts, place the fourth finger of the right hand on the left nostril, release the thumb from the right nostril, and exhale for 4 counts. Inhale through the right, exhale through the left, this is one round.

Continue for 4-5 rounds. As your body begins to relax, you can extend the duration of your inhalations and exhalations, and add an equal duration of holding both nostrils (eg: inhale 8, hold 8, exhale 8). Practice 9 rounds of this method, and as your endurance improves, you may extend your practice as you like.

After your last round, relax your right hand onto your right knee, and with eyes closed, focus on inhaling and exhaling equally through your right and left nostrils simultaneously. Imagine you are breathing into both nostrils, and drawing the breath into your third eye centre, between the eyebrows. This exercise helps to restore balance to the body, mind and spirit

Note 1: You may notice as you begin that one nostril is blocked or restricted. Be sure to clean both nostrils before you begin by blowing your nose or using a neti cleansing pot.

Note 2: It is common during this exercise for the right shoulder to hold tension or tightness, be sure to keep your right shoulder relaxed as you breath.

Enjoy…